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Friday, May 4, 2012

{Real} Life is Messy

No, no its not! It can't be! It must be clean, organized, and perfectly perfect. Yeah right!

"This house is clean"...she says to herself as she hides dirty clothes behind closed doors, or maybe we should say closed door as we live in a rather small apartment (the upstairs of a duplex) that has literally been transformed from a three bedroom upstairs to contain a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen in each of the original three bedrooms.

"This house is clean"...as she scrambles around like mad, stuffing papers and dirty dishes anywhere she can find, as friends are arriving in 10 minutes and the house is definitely not clean.

Not much room for hiding, but she manages it. Why? To impress rather than be real. Not that she wants to invite guests in to the muck at the bottom of the tub from the husbands showers after a hard day on the farm or the pile of dishes that never seems do diminish. But why can't she be real? Why can't she just say "This is me, with the house full of dirty dishes and dirty sheets. This is me, with the dust bunny parties and the entryway covered in worn shoes. This is me in all my imperfections."

Why can't she let her guard down and be vulnerable in her imperfections? Because it's scary!!!!! Who wants to open up and say "I fail! I screw up! My house is dirty and my to do list is a mile long!!!"

Well, you see, she does...and she doesn't. There is war going on inside her heart. She wants to be a real person. But to share reality she must share failures and fears. Why can't she be real without sharing the hard stuff? Why can't she just be real in the nice, pretty, put togetherness of life.

Because life is messy, her life is messy! In order to be real she must own up to the messy and imperfect-ness of life, her life. And honestly, that is exactly what she does not want to do.

Why can't she paint a pretty picture for others to believe? Why can't she appear to have it all together, to know how to live her life, how to keep a house clean, how to stay on top of her to do lists, how to be perfect?

Because perfection IS NOT REAL!!! But she wants it to be real, isn't that good enough, can't she make it be real? No.

If she is going to share her life with others than she must own up to the imperfections in her life. She must be willing to be open and vulnerable and not having it all together, because that is real.

So here she is, being real, with you. Owning up to the fact that she does not have it all together. She has no idea how the pile of dishes seems to never get smaller, or why the dust bunnies seem to get bigger every time she puts away that Swiffer vac.

But in the midst of the imperfections, in the midst of being real. She will NOT give up and have a pity party. She will say "Jesus, thank you for this messy life that you have given me." She will smile, she will work, she will not worry, she will be quiet, she will spend time in the Word, and she will choose joy.

7 comments:

  1. Choosing joy...sometimes it is so hard! I SO felt your frustration and I think part of it is because that has been me on so many occasions. That lie that says "perfection can be attained" just creeps into everywhere sometimes! It is a good thing to find that JOY inside the "messy life" we have :0)! Have a great MESSY day :0)!

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  2. Yes it is! Thanks so much for sharing and struggling with me :)

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  3. LOL. We have a little "joke" in our house that our floors grow dirt--and junk. We sweep two or three times a *day* and get a nice pile every time... :/

    It is so frustrating when you try and try and seem to just get deeper in chores waiting to be done! The ironic thing is that when I was able to stop stressing (so much) over the perfectness of my house, it helped me to start taking real steps to get better at things. It has been a years-long journey--no, make that decades--and I am still growing, for sure.

    But I have learned that doing *something* with joy is an accomplishment to be desired. And over the years, I also learned that nearly 90% of my problem was just having too much stuff. Another 10% was lack of a routine that was doable and effective. So I am very happy to have gone from living in a "pigpen" to living in a nice "half-mess"-"pretty good and comfy" rotation. :)

    (Just FYI, I'm a mom of 4--two teens and two under 10.)

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  4. I love the idea of living between a "half-mess" and a "pretty good and comfy" home! I have always wanted our home to be welcoming and "homey" to anyone and everyone who enters. I long for warmth to great friends at the door and beckon them in to the joys of imperfection. Unfortunately my perfectionist spirit likes to rear it's ugly head and tell me that it's not good enough and I it all must be extra clean and shiny. I do believe it is a process to get away from my perfectionism, but I so wish it wasn't quite as long a process sometimes!

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  5. This is such a good post . . . almost perfect, I'd say!

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  6. I can relate to the perfectionist monster, Katherine! The silly thing for me is that it was often the perfectionist spirit that left things such a mess. I would work some area 'til it was about perfect. Meanwhile, somewhere else was falling apart. It's still a tendency I have to watch.

    I still have that frustrating thought that everything had better be perfect if anyone's coming over sometimes. But the fact of the matter is, if you visit even my "perfect" (I'm using the term loosely) house, and you happen to stay more than an hour or so, you'll soon get a good first-hand experience of the "rotation". I think that fact has helped me to let go and enjoy the thought of our occasional guest more.

    Nothing is perfect, really, but most of the time, there is an easily restored general sense of tidiness.

    Balance, balance, balance.... :)

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